You Look Like A Movie Star

*names and actual events have been slightly changed to protect the innocent.*


Several years ago I was set up on a blind date. Which happens too much in my life. Maybe I should stop saying yes. I was told he looked like a movie star (who was cute), had a good job, was a Christian and loved music. They believed they had found the perfect match for me. Reluctantly I accepted the invitation for lunch at a local restaurant. Sooooooooo….When he arrived I wanted to hide, pretend I was Olga or someone else, anyone else. MOVIE STAR??? Who were they kidding? Okay I will give them….Mr. Rogers! He even had the sweater. Oh brother! He was not the cute actor they had described to me. Good thing he was a good conversationalist. Well maybe I should reword that. He loved to talk. Talk and talk and talk about himself and his work. This actually would have been okay since his work and what I did kind of worked together. What really happened was he stated a few views he had about theology, God and views about the church. This was not going to work. Did he know who he was talking too? To me he sounded like someone from the 1950’s and I have no place in that world especially in the church leadership world. Oh I get the look of Mr. Rogers.  I just wanted out and fast. He excused himself to use the restroom and sad to say I did entertain the idea of running. But what happened is classic. As I was planning my exit strategy the waiter and I started talking and hit it off. He was a musician and yada yada yada…he was interesting, seemed fun, exciting, sure of himself AND he was no movie star but he was still good looking. My date finally made it back to the table and the brutal date continued. To my surprise, not really, the waiter kept coming over and checking on us more than before. My date did not approve of this much. To him this waiter was interrupting quality time with this potential girlfriend and his long winded, boring, who cares what he’s talking about stories anyway. Ugh! My date finally spoke up. “Do you mind? We are on a date here!” I pressed my lips together and bit my tongue so hard just to keep myself from laughing. The waiter apologized and walked away but not without laughing quietly out of sight to my date but trying to get me to laugh. So sad…that was the highlight of this date. When we left if was even more awkward. The final question and statement of every date always seems to happen no matter what and always a response is anticipated by the asker, “When would you want to go out again?” or “We should do this again soon.” I just wanted to scream. NO! I’m Done! I’m Outta Here!! I wish I could remember what exactly I said because I’m sure it was the dumbest thing ever. “We’ll see. Call me and we can figure it out later.” Which is really the equivalent of “ _ ell NO! and if you call I will screen it and not answer.” I know it’s low. But when it comes to bad dates, honesty is not my best attribute. I don’t want to hurt the guy. Don’t you think that he would have picked up on the awkward silences, the lack of talking with him, flirting with the waiter, lack of eye contact etc. Why O why would he then ask the question “when would you want to go out again?”.

To those who are wondering. The waiter and I never exchanged numbers.